I recently had a dream that was very significant to me. It was a couple of months ago but I remember it. In my dream I was seeking shelter and found myself inside a haunted hotel. I remember trying to just co-exist with the spirits inside but eventually got annoyed by them, and it seemed too crowded, like there wasn’t space for myself and for them to live there. So I left the hotel at night seeking shelter in the dark woods. I said to myself in my dream “I would rather fight wolves than witches” knowing full well there were wolves in the woods and that they were close to me. My voice was so bold in my dream it woke me up. I thought “what an odd dream” and went about my day. But as it is with dreams, at least my own that stand out to me (not all of them are this memorable), I take them into consideration over the next week and trust that if there is some sort of meaning, I will understand it.

I don’t know what you believe in, I don’t know if it’s God, or money,  people or witchcraft.  I believe in God.  I do. So there is that.    I am going somewhere with this and it may seem a little crazy but I hope you come too.  This dream has actually helped shape my life the last few months and I want to explain why.

First off I believe the hotel represents me, or that is my physical being, my body. (You know I’ve read this now a couple times and I am not sure but soul might be more accurate than body, just a side note).   I believe the spirits represent things like loneliness, depression, fear, anxiety, doubt, hatred, jealousy, judging others, disbelief, self-hatred, and I could go on.   Next I think the wolves represent the physical reactions my body has to what I’ve allowed into it.  I also believe the wolves represent things in the world that come to attack me or maybe just what I am susceptible to when I am allowing things like fear or loneliness to drive me (or literally live with me, take over me) .   I think the dream was my sub-concious telling me that I need to grow a spine and reclaim the hotel (myself). Ok, so you have an idea where I am going with this.

I would like to point out that by not dealing with the spirits in the hotel, I was about to invite unnecessary physical battles upon myself. If you have any spiritual battles in your own life that you are not dealing with I guarantee you that there are unpleasant physical things in your life that may even be harming you because you have not dealt with the root of the problem. You should not have to fight wolves, if there is a perfectly good shelter for you to stay in. Why not, instead of leaving the hotel that is your shelter, tell the spirits (aka, loneliness,  fear) to leave?

I have been fighting some pretty tough spiritual battles in my life, that I don’t believe are that uncommon to women like myself. One huge thing that has plagued me my whole life, even though I’ve had close friends, even though I have a loving family is loneliness. Another huge one is comparison (jealousy). I am always measuring myself up to others. Anxiety and fear are also part of the list of “spirits” I am dealing with, though I am sure there are others, these are what I’ve realized. Now, wait a second, how can these be spirits you ask? I looked up some definitions of spirits, here is one from the merriam-webster online dictionary: the activating or essential principle influencing a person<acted in a spirit of ________>. So I want to not nessesarily think of the eerie spirits of a haunted house, even though I know my dream was a little more dramatic than a “spirit of fear ” or “spirit of loneliness”. So basically don’t get caught up in thinking about ghosts and goblins and witches and stuff.  I want this to hit closer to home. Not everyone believes in ghosts and witches but I think everyone has felt lonely or fearful before.

I think a feeling of loneliness and a spirit of loneliness are different. Because yes it is possible to feel lonely from time to time, but why should you have to feel lonely every time you are alone and even when you are not alone? There are necessary fears and also unnecessary fears. That is what I am talking about. So when I say “a spirit of loneliness”, I mean loneliness that has followed me around even when it was unnecessary and even wrong that I should feel that way. When I say a spirit of fear, I mean something that I have dealt with over and over again, and not just, lets say that one time a random stranger knocked on my door at 3am and scared me half to death thinking it was a thief. There are feelings, and there are “spirits”.

Ok so how do you make the spirits go away? How do you stop feeling lonely when you have always had that feeling no matter what you do or who you are with? How do you stop being fearful of what people think of you or even fearful of being alone? How do stop comparing yourself to others, when there is always going to be someone who is more talented, or who has a better life?

First realize what it is. If you realize that you are lonely when you shouldn’t be, then agree that you shouldn’t have to feel that way. Try to be aware of what you think about yourself. Then you have to tell the spirits to leave. There are no wolves that can attack you if you stay inside your shelter, but if you let things inside that should not be there, so that you no longer can stay, then you give an open invitation to unpleasant, annoying “wolves”  (my examples, panic attacks, participating in gossip, lying, crying, headaches, digestion issues…I probably shouldn’t tell you everything, haha) . But if you stay and tell the spirits to leave, they have to leave. By telling them to leave, you are standing up for yourself,  you can have peace.

I can’t tell you any other way that has worked for me except knowing and having a relationship with God.  Knowing truth about how much he loves you and having others in your life that build you up and love you is so vital.  But even if there is no one else besides God telling you how important and wonderful you are, then believe me, you have everything you need.  You need him.  You need him because his love brings you closer to loving yourself.  If you love yourself things like jealousy can start to fade or just be gone in a moment.

I have many “spirits” I can tell you right now that I have actually gotten rid of in my life.  I am so much better off now than I ever was.   I’ll not go into all of them, but one is  jealousy.  It has caused me to compare myself to others, especially in the work place.  This has been very damaging to me and I believe to others.  It has caused me to gossip about others because I didn’t feel worthy.  It has caused me to be anxious about how I am doing and if my boss (or in my case bosses) believe I am doing a good job.  Jealousy is actually in the past now, but it took me a couple years to realize how much of a hold on me it had.

So the wolves I was fighting were gossip, anxiety, and in a subtle way, bragging.   Three things I do not want to succumb to!!!  I want to be humble, I want to love myself and love others, I want peace not anxiety.   I can tell you jealousy does not have the hold it had on me a couple of years ago, EVEN SO, every once and a while that spirit comes back and tries to get into my house!  I have to stand up to it and tell it to leave, I am through with jealousy.  I am over it. Go away.  But guess what? It does leave.  And with the jealousy being gone…I am not tempted to gossip!!! *GASP!!!  Can you even imagine? Of course there is always a bit of information that comes along that I get excited to hear or I want to hear, but it’s not the kind that hurts others!!  And that is what gossip is, hearing the failure of another human being and getting enjoyment out of their failure!  That was me, I was that person for awhile, and I would even join in.  And I know I am not perfect, but now when gossip comes around I really don’t have a drive to hear it or join it.  There is no enjoyment for me to hear that someone else has failed at something.

Are there any “spirits” causing you to face “wolves”?  I am praying for you in this so that you can find true freedom from the pain of having “spirits” drive your life.   And if you don’t believe in God I am praying that one day, you allow him to find you.